Humanity has reached an age and time when messages are distorted through pinging over G-chat, misread emoticons, and Facebook status updates. Our mail today is mostly fliers, credit card bills, mail advertisements, bank statements, and an occasional wedding invitation, which too are in printed envelopes. While I rummage through all of this garbage, mostly bills to pay, my heart leaps in when I see my postal address that is handwritten. There is no substitute for a handwritten letter, but who today waits for the postman to come knocking on the door, with a heady mixture of anticipation 

and joy for a little blue envelope with that familiar handwriting scribbled over the envelope, and the lopsided stamps? I know most of my personal and professional acquaintances are made over e-mails, and in many cases, even some relationships made it, and broke apart over g-chat. What happened to the tradition of sending the handwritten love note?

 

In a recent study done by Lindt Lindor chocolates in the United Kingdom, 78 per cent of the women surveyed said they’d like to receive a handwritten letter, only 50 per cent of the men admitted to ever having written one. But don’t get me wrong about sending a SMS text to each other, there is nothing like receiving one that says, “Good Morning Sunshine, guess what I thought of you first thing today morning, and I am sure my day is going to go great.” Some of the younger folk I spoke to say that texting is a great way to jump start a relationship, and flirting, but starting a relationship over e-mails is faux-pas. Anyone who sends an e-valentine does not really care. Vimya V, a 21-year old, debt collector said, “Well, I am not into the whole lovey-dovey scene for one. And, secondly I don’t think I can pull off a really good love letter. But, on the other hand if someone is not totally, hopelessly into you, but randomly sends you one, you feel like you’re on top of the world”. 

 

But then, love letters is something that is connected simply to the older generation. Jayadevan P a 22-year old sustainability engineer, said, “Ah, love letters. I wrote one when I was in the 8th grade. About 3 lines, it feels nice and kind of reminds you of the 80’s”. When he mentioned the 80’s I was reminded of when I was about 18, my mother struck a deal with me, either I clean the cupboards at home, or no internet for a month. And, since most of my contact with my then “boyfriend” was over e-mails, and chat I didn’t want to take the risk. Surprisingly, in the dustiest, most cluttered part of the cupboard, I found a huge bundle of worn out envelopes that were tied together by a ribbon.

 They were all the letters that my father had exchanged with my mum when they were courting. She was in Mumbai, and dad was in Kerala; and since telephone back then was sky rocketing expensive, letters were the only way they could communicate with each other. When I asked my father about it recently, he grinned sheepishly, “I was quite the romantic back then. It was the 80’s, and it’s a little sad that people do not exchange letters as often as they did back then.” My mother being the emotionally upfront one out of the both of them said, “Your father was so cheesy, in all those letters all I read was about all his everyday adventures in his ever so boring life. But after waiting for a couple of weeks, getting a mail from him felt great”

 

Mary M, a 37- year old house wife said, “I’ve been married for 12 years now and we would exchange love letters when we got engaged. But, the letters and notes did not stop after we got married. I would find hidden notes over the fridge, in my desk, and sometimes under my pillow. It was little things he noticed, and said he loved about me. Little things like that kept romance alive, I still feel like a school girl when I think about him.” Mary’s husband Anil M is a close friend of my family, and when I asked him about the letters he laughed. “Men love romance, and I loved my wife, she is a special lady.

 I want her to know that” said Anil. Men find it a little more difficult when it comes to penning down their thoughts. Jayadevan who managed only three lines said, “How can you write down everything of how you feel? It’s a little difficult”. Anil said that men can write love letters only if they are really motivated. “I would feel this rush. Like I wanted to get the moon for her, but since I can’t be doing that, and knowing that she would only laugh if I had told her I wanted to get the moon for her, I decided to write it to her, and guess what it worked.”

 

Well, how about dropping a love letter to your beloved this Valentines Day, which falls on Sunday February 14th. But, how do you write that perfect love letter? Maybe some of the below would help?

 

Keepsake- Date your Love Letter (month, day, year). This is a letter that will be treasured and remembered. You can bet that it will be read over and over and safeguarded in a special place.

 

Start your Love Letter by telling your beloved your reasons for writing. Never insult your beloved's feelings or belittle yourself by saying something like: "I know you probably don't feel this way," or "You must think I'm crazy." If you are timid in your Love Letter, your attempt at conveying heartfelt words will fall flat and might be misunderstood.

 

Avoid being casual, too light-hearted, or openly erotic. A Love Letter is a letter of respect that coveys deep, difficult-to-express feelings. Don't discount the impact of poetry in place of, or in addition to, your words. Maybe your beloved has a favorite author or poet. It will be seen as a compliment if you take the time to quote someone he/she admires.

 

Be real. Your Love Letter should be a carefully crafted work of art, but it also needs to sound sincere. You want your Love Letter to make your beloved fall in love, not fall into laughter.

 

Include a special extra: petals from a flower, sprinkles of stars, a teabag of your favorite tea etc. makes it nice smelling, and personal.

 

Neatness counts Gently fold the Love Letter and place it in a neatly addressed envelope. Hand address the envelope. Expect an emotional response. And here's another tip: buy some breath mints--you'll need them!

 

Be expressive, but at the same time be honest. Tell them out of the world sentences like, ‘I miss you like I miss my childhood’, 

 

Like British biographer, critic, broadcaster and novelist Victoria Glendinning once wrote in one of her columns ‘The truth is that love and longing reduces us to the lowest common denominator, to the point where even sophisticates and intellectuals are children reaching for the moon.’

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